Very impromptu Sunday post but this morning I woke up and felt like sharing. This past week was a difficult one for me…..
I felt I wasn’t able to accomplish everything I had planned, and that really gets to me because I feel behind and when those negative thoughts come in like, “you shouldn’t have taken on too much, you shouldn’t have gone to the gym, if you only stayed up until 2am to finish, ect, ect, ect. I feel like I lost out on what I was set to do. This week I also had a lot of stuff just go wrong, my car has been giving me major problems, so it’s been in the shop for a couple weeks, my laptop is having issues and doesn’t look like repairing it would be worth it, stressing that I haven’t even started wedding planning, and my dreams on creating a faith based tv show is just being pushed aside because work gets in the way. As a teacher I always want to be on top of my game and make sure that my students are understanding and getting inspired and this week I felt it was hard for me to read them and see if what I taught was being understood.
It’s been a struggle for me to keep my head up and stay positive this week. I woke up this morning knowing I had a lot to finish plus my usual “Sunday routine” – going to church, cleaning my house, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and trying to do something for myself. I started feeling overwhelmed and instead of enjoying my day off, I started to panic that I wouldn’t have enough TIME. Time, it’s scary word for me right now, I feel like I just don’t always have enough time to accomplish everything I want to do.
As I was washing my dishes, I was listening to Hillsong United, and the song, Heaven Knows came on, the melody right away gave me a sense of calmness and then I started listening to the lyrics and felt at peace for a moment.
Hold my heart, don’t let it break like fear
Sometimes a moment feels like a thousand years
God only knows why love is drenched in tears
Maybe that’s what makes it love
Maybe that’s what makes it love
I can hear it now, the everlasting sound
Roaring like a lion deep within me
I won’t hold it long, I wasn’t made that strong
Sweet surrender, hold my heart and not let go
I’m letting go
And Heaven knows
I love you so
In those 4 minutes, I felt more at peace than I did all week. I felt God was telling me, “Danielle just calm down, everything will be ok, trust MY timing, and trust the path I have you on.” I realized this past week, I put god on the side because of my busy schedule. I always try and read the bible or just take a moment out of my day to pray but I didn’t really make the time for it this week. I tried to do on my own and it failed.
I realized this morning, adding God into my daily routine is a must and it is necessary for me to live. It is 10am Sunday Morning, and I already feel so much better because I know I have a God who loves me so much that he would never put things in my life that I couldn’t handle. Will it always be easy? No. But I just have to trust and talk to him. God is the one who gives us our strength and we can’t have it unless we dedicate time to him.
It’s 10:29 and I am ready for today. I don’t know if this post resonates with anyone if it does I would love to hear your thoughts. Whoever is reading this, I just want to say thank you, writing is an outlet for me to express, and even if this post was just a way to release my thoughts, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me and my struggles.
My wish for you today would be to take 5 minutes and say things you are grateful for or looking forward to, give yourself some positive affirmations and be there for someone today. Maybe you go out to lunch with a friend, instead of talking, listen to the other person because you never know what someone else is going through and just listening can really help.
I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday! And know that whatever struggles you are dealing with, there is a God who loves you, and who is always there for you. Take it from me, you may not see him or hear him right away but you have to take make the time to Listen and Trust.